"It is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.  To forgive.  Forgive everybody."

Maya Angelou

    
Forgiveness is such a hard thing for people to do but yet it's one of the most important things you can do, not only for yourself but for others.  Forgiveness is in all the major religions and rightly so.    There is a great article by Kathleen Bradley which talks about forgiveness in other traditions.  It is from the website www.manataka.org.  She writes about forgiveness in American Indian Spirituality, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and Judaism.  it is a very interesting read.  I highly recommend it.    

We know that forgiveness is important in that all the great prophets and teachers have spoken about it, but what exactly is it?
This is from an article from www.greatergood.berkeley.edu.  Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.  Just as important as defining what forgiveness I, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not.  Experts who study or teach forgiveness makes clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you.  Forgiveness does not mean condoning or excusing offenses.  forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger.  it involves letting go deeply held negative feelings.  it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting the pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.  My take on it is to let it go, and surrender it to God.  Let God handle it.  You can't control what people do to you but you can control how it affects you. What about in cases of rape, or abuse?  Do we forgive then?  I think so.  In those situations you need to forgive yourself and know that it wasn't your fault. Many times when people do horrible things they do it out of ignorance.  As Jesus said "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Now that we understand what forgiveness is and isn't, why do we need to practice it?    The article goes on to say that we think of forgiveness as a kind, magnanimous act-an act of mercy or compassion extended to someone who wronged us.  while that can be true, research over the past few decades has revealed enormous personal benefits to forgiveness as well.   According to that research, there are some of the most compelling ways forgiveness is good for us, our relationship's and communities:

Makes us happier

improves our health

sustains relationships

is good for marriages

boosts kindness and connectedness

can help heal the wounds of war

As you can see, forgiveness is very important.

How do you feel about forgiveness?  can you forgive someone that has hurt you, or do you hold on to the pain and find it too difficult?   After my divorce, I had to forgive.  It definitely wasn't easy, but I felt it was something I had to do in order for me to move on. If I didn't forgive I wouldn't have met my girlfriend, who I love,and I wouldn't be happy like I am now.  I believe it helped with the healing process as the pain would have lasted longer if I didn't forgive.  I would have been depressed and stuck.  I would love to hear your thoughts, experiences,and comments about forgiveness.

 

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